INCENSED INBOX

[counterattack]

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[meltokio]

[ hm. ]

Trust me, it'll be easier just to show you... Do you have something you can use like a flare when I get close?

[counterattack]

A flare? Uh... oh! Yeah. I got it.

( spoilers: it's not going to be anything normal )

Just lemme know. I gotta put something over Beefsteak's eyes when I do it.

[meltokio]

[ yeah he feels like this is going to suck.

what else is going to suck? flying. the concept isn't that hard to grasp at least, but uh

yeah this is new. a nice perk to this stupid transformation but stuff! very new.

after a little while he'll reach out again. ]

Alright. Set it off.

[counterattack]

Okay, hang on!

( not long after that message, Law hops off the cow and puts a scrap over his eyes so he doesn't completely lose it. he can't do astral artes, but you look at the explosion of lightning and fire that suddenly flashes out of nowhere in the middle of the jungle and call that "not magic" and i'll tell you something's wrong with this narrative.

anyway that's his idea of a flare. a big kaboom of lightning that leaves a crater in the earth. )

[meltokio]

[ LAW WHAT THE FUCK.

okay, okay, okay!!! it's hard to miss that. about a minute later zelos is descending from the sky like the gorgeous angel he is. there's a chorus! a choir! he is your savior and he is STUNNING and - ]

Hey, hey, hey! What's the big idea? Are you trying to telegraph to every monster that the snack table's here?

[counterattack]

( ZELOS WHAT THE FUCK.

beefsteak is decisively unhappy about the explosion but he didn't have to see it so he's vibing. Law on the other hand, having already witnessed Bird Kratos today, is officially starting to think this is the end of his sanity and that he's liable to monster out at any given second. )

How are you doing that!?!?

[meltokio]

I'm amazing, that's how.

[ but also seriously, the fuck law. zelos glances at the cow and considers it. ]

... Alright. Should be easy enough.

[counterattack]

That's not—were those wings?! What was that? Dude!

( bird kratos... BIRD ZELOS? no, he is insistently holding onto beefsteak's lead. while standing in the crater he made. )

[meltokio]

Yep, yep. You're gonna see a whole lot more of them in a sec. Get on your cow.

[counterattack]

But...

( it couldn't be... could it? he hadn't really gotten a good look at Kratos earlier, it was just a glimpse just above the clouds, but... nah, couldn't be. total coincidence. )

But I was gonna walk the rest of the way to Coba to meet up with Lloyd... there was a, uh, change in plans. I dunno if Beefsteak is gonna like flying, he's already kinda cheesed off, and Iiii... ehh...

[meltokio]

Yeah, that's why I'm gonna need you to stay on the cow to keep him calm while I do all the heavy lifting here. Then we're gonna go meet up with Lloyd. Capiche?

[ god it smells like a cow.

that's probably because it is a cow but man. livestock. ]

[counterattack]

Geez, and here I thought you were just gonna show off by throwing him over your shoulders, as if that's impressive. I can do that...

( flying though? that's some shit. he can get pretty high in the air, but sadly he's always gotta come back down. frowning unsurely, he goes over to give an equally uncertain cow a pat on his snout before he clambers up on his back again. that sure is the least regal thing ever, a kid on a steer. )

You better not drop him! Me, I'm not worried about. Have you ever even handled a steer before??

[meltokio]

Nope.

[ okay, okay! okay. he's got this.

reaching over and... hefting... this - oh this isn't even a heft. UP IT GOES. HE'S HOLDING IT ABOVE HIS HEAD LIKE IT'S NOTHING. ]

Man, i really am amazing.

[counterattack]

( fuckdflfkjg hanging onto poor Beefsteak's neck while he moos unhappily. )

Ack—be careful with him!! And why do you sound like you're just figuring that out?!

( this is technically not him disagreeing with him all things considered )

[meltokio]

Nothing, nothing. You're in safe hands.

[ ... okay, securing both sets of legs here so he doesn't get kicked in the head, basically putting the cow around his shoulders.

and then there's a SHINALINGALINGALING sound as the wings come back out. ]

[counterattack]

( from his vantage point UP ON THE HYDRA'S BACK, he gets a really good look at those wings as they pop out. it's just fortunate he has to soothe poor, braying beefsteak so he can't immediately verbally keysmash about this. )

Shhh, Beefy, it's okay. This is normal, this is totally normal. We're just going for a little ride, that's all... h-hey, did you notice those things don't look right? Like the air's gonna go right through 'em...

[meltokio]

Relax. They're made of mana. Hang on tight.

[ which is not an explanation BUT IS THE ONLY ONE HE KNOWS. he gives a few experimental flaps and - WOO THEY'RE AIRBORNE, OKAY. OKAY THIS IS WORKING.

alright, alright. above the incense they go. ]

[counterattack]

( just. pressing his face into the cow's neck and not watching them achieve LIFDOFF because while heights aren't necessarily an issue for him, watching a guy he doesn't entirely trust just hoist him on top of a steer and FLY OFF with him is not something he's prepared to face with his eyes wide open. just as soon as they get above the mist and he can take a clear breath, though, he gasps for fresh air and finally looks... and... yeah... wow. )

Haha, wow, sure can't see the ground at all from here! That's awesome!

( said on the verge of turmoil )

[meltokio]

[ oh my god law chill.

you know how to calm someone? pick on them. ]

You afraid of heights or somethin'? I thought you were Mr. Tough Guy.

[counterattack]

No, I just happen to know you're a total butterfingers and your wings are made of like, nothing but sparkles!

( in fact... he's just gonna... reach out and try to touch one. )

[meltokio]

They're made of literal magic, brat.

[ and yeah your hand goes right on through that. it feels tingly. ]

And it's not like you were doing so hot that day either.

[counterattack]

( tingly... oddly warm. it reminds him of something, but he can't quite put his finger on it just yet. just... waving his hand in and out of his wings no big deal. )

Kinda hard to be when everything just sounds like your dying friends and family, but at least I didn't literally throw the fight.

[meltokio]

[ and you know what else it feels weird FOR HIM. like someone's touching his soul. zelos shivers. ]

Yeah, 'cause I blasted them to hell and back. You were too busy flailing around like a toddler with a stick to help out.

[counterattack]

You blasted us to hell and back, you moron! Did you even try to aim, or was that on purpose?!

( sure just bicker with the guy you don't want to have drop you and your cow from a bazillion feet up. beefsteak moos pathetically while Law tries to pluck one of the "feathers" but can't get anything but the energy feeling. it's right on the tip of his tongue... what is this... weird sparkly shit. )

[meltokio]

Judgement's got a wide range!

[ AND NO FRIENDLY FIRE SHUT UP LAW and what are you DOING ]

Can you quit it?