[ Her writing is a little off, mostly because her dominant arm is bandaged up, and her writing (while still neat) is done in Rinwell's left hand. Slower, too. But still clearly hers. ]
I heard you're still in Coatepec too, like me. Can
[some scribbles, covering up incomplete words; spelling mistakes? or changing her mind about her wording? Hard to say..]
[ his writing, already not that great, is stilted, but it's not because he has an injury to contend with (for once). he just doesn't know what to say, and honestly is hesitant to respond at all. normally he's the first one to speak up, but now...
well, he seems to conveniently ignore most of what she actually wrote, but at least he's not ignoring the whole thing. ]
i don't remember what he changed into. i just remember trying to eat him.
[ or whatever he was doing. "eat" is the wrong word, but it's the only verb he can come up with for "open mouth, insert bird" right now. there's also a really long pause before he writes any sort of response underneath the second part, either. ]
that's not what i meant and you know it. there wasn't anything you could do anyway. only one thing was ever going to stop me once i got that bad.
i did a lot of things before and after. a lot of people got hurt or died because of me. i can't accept that it's the incense's fault, that never sat right with me any other time but now
[ She lets that sit for a minute or two. Because...well, what do you say to that? It's hard to argue that logic, that point of view. Even when you know in your heart that it's not right at all. She bites her lip, thinking, before her graphite stick starts writing again. ]
I
I know how that feels. And I know..that's not who you really are. That's why it hurts you so much.
But the incense changes everything. It warps our vision, our minds. Can you really say you had a choice in your actions, when everything around you was made into a lie? I know I can't say that.
but what if it is? rinwell why do i always go back to cysloden when this happens? why is it always the snake eyes? why am i always one of them? why do i look like that when i turn into a monster? maybe i'm just not actually any better than that. deep down.
you know what they're like more than any of the others. they lie and backstab so much they even start to believe it all themselves. if i could turn on you and the others like that again and again then maybe i've just been lying to myself. maybe when i lash out, that's the real truth. i can't stand it, i can't put anyone else through that
The Snake Eyes were created by the Renans. By Ganabelt! To manipulate and lie and make people suffer.
And maybe not all Renans were like Ganabelt, we know that because of Shionne and Dohalim. But enough were like that, like the soldiers that enslaved Calaglians. That made Cyslodians work the lights. That made Menancians toil endlessly in their mines, before their Lord changed. And you weren't given a choice to join, not really.
You did what you had to to survive in the Snake Eyes, Law. And you've worked so hard to stand up for the right thing since you cast that off.
Do you think I'm a monster because I had have magic?
you never used your magic to hurt anyone who didn't deserve it. you never used it to scare people, or to force them to do things they didn't want to do. it's different.
No, it's not! If you really were a monster, then none of what happened would bother you. You wouldn't feel regret or hurt, or mourn. I know you. You would NEVER do any of those things without any other choice available to you.
The incense gave you no choice. It's never given anyone any choices before, and it didn't in Tikal once the earthquakes started and that awful laughter began.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Backdated to Late July
Date: 2022-08-07 09:11 pm (UTC)[ Her writing is a little off, mostly because her dominant arm is bandaged up, and her writing (while still neat) is done in Rinwell's left hand. Slower, too. But still clearly hers. ]
I heard you're still in Coatepec too, like me. Can
[some scribbles, covering up incomplete words; spelling mistakes? or changing her mind about her wording? Hard to say..]
Can I see you? Can we talk?
no subject
Date: 2022-08-08 01:40 pm (UTC)[ his writing, already not that great, is stilted, but it's not because he has an injury to contend with (for once). he just doesn't know what to say, and honestly is hesitant to respond at all. normally he's the first one to speak up, but now...
well, he seems to conveniently ignore most of what she actually wrote, but at least he's not ignoring the whole thing. ]
are you ok?
no subject
Date: 2022-08-08 03:29 pm (UTC)What about you?
no subject
Date: 2022-08-08 06:08 pm (UTC)i'm ok. i didn't have any lasting injuries.
[ or they got noped when he respawned, but whatever. eventually the S makes a reappearance. ]
sorry
no subject
Date: 2022-08-08 06:17 pm (UTC)I don't either.
I hope[ There's a bit of a pause when she sees the S appear, and the word eventually finish. ]
I'm sorry too.
no subject
Date: 2022-08-09 12:23 am (UTC)[ all he really remembers there is an explosion of feathers, so... ]
you didn't do anything.
no subject
Date: 2022-08-09 02:17 pm (UTC)Hootle's [a pause. a really long pause] okay? Well. He's still working through some changes. But he's okay.
You're right. I didn't. I didn't help you. I didn't break you out of the incense, like you did for me, no matter what I said or tried. So...I'm sorry.
no subject
Date: 2022-08-09 02:35 pm (UTC)[ or whatever he was doing. "eat" is the wrong word, but it's the only verb he can come up with for "open mouth, insert bird" right now. there's also a really long pause before he writes any sort of response underneath the second part, either. ]
that's not what i meant and you know it. there wasn't anything you could do anyway. only one thing was ever going to stop me once i got that bad.
no subject
Date: 2022-08-09 03:03 pm (UTC)That doesn't stop me being sorry that I couldn't DO anything! I tried! And it didn't work!
[ And that's. That's not really helping, even if it is partially why she reached out.
She takes a breath, and tries switching tact. ]
I know what you meant. But, you know that wasn't your fault, right? I don't hold what happened against you.
no subject
Date: 2022-08-09 04:45 pm (UTC)[ well, that's one weird hallucination he has an answer for. ]
it's ok, rinwell. you tried, i
you should've just run, but i appreciate it. i'm sorry i couldn't listen.
you talked to alphen already?
no subject
Date: 2022-08-09 04:57 pm (UTC)The incense is awful. And it's not your fault it overwhelmed you. Maybe if I'd
I haven't yet, I wanted to talk to you first.
I couldn't help him, eithno subject
Date: 2022-08-09 05:01 pm (UTC)[ honey, you've got a big storm comin' ]
i don't know if
i just
i haven't really seen anybody except him since i got here. i don't really know how to face
what i did
no subject
Date: 2022-08-09 05:20 pm (UTC)Was
Was it really that bad, after I left you?
And
You don't have to face it, if you're not ready yet. But you don't have to face it alone, when you are.
no subject
Date: 2022-08-09 05:27 pm (UTC)but now
i don't know.
no subject
Date: 2022-08-09 05:44 pm (UTC)I
I know how that feels. And I know..that's not who you really are. That's why it hurts you so much.
But the incense changes everything. It warps our vision, our minds. Can you really say you had a choice in your actions, when everything around you was made into a lie? I know I can't say that.
no subject
Date: 2022-08-09 05:56 pm (UTC)rinwell why do i always go back to cysloden when this happens? why is it always the snake eyes? why am i always one of them? why do i look like that when i turn into a monster?
maybe i'm just not actually any better than that. deep down.
you know what they're like more than any of the others. they lie and backstab so much they even start to believe it all themselves.
if i could turn on you and the others like that again and again then maybe i've just been lying to myself. maybe when i lash out, that's the real truth.
i can't stand it, i can't put anyone else through that
no subject
Date: 2022-08-09 06:03 pm (UTC)Don't say that. It's not true at all!
The Snake Eyes were created by the Renans. By Ganabelt! To manipulate and lie and make people suffer.
And maybe not all Renans were like Ganabelt, we know that because of Shionne and Dohalim. But enough were like that, like the soldiers that enslaved Calaglians. That made Cyslodians work the lights. That made Menancians toil endlessly in their mines, before their Lord changed. And you weren't given a choice to join, not really.
You did what you had to to survive in the Snake Eyes, Law. And you've worked so hard to stand up for the right thing since you cast that off.
Do you think I'm a monster because I
hadhave magic?no subject
Date: 2022-08-09 06:05 pm (UTC)what?? no! why would i?
no subject
Date: 2022-08-09 06:26 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2022-08-10 06:44 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2022-08-10 08:54 pm (UTC)The incense gave you no choice. It's never given anyone any choices before, and it didn't in Tikal once the earthquakes started and that awful laughter began.
no subject
Date: 2022-08-11 11:00 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2022-08-11 11:04 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2022-08-12 04:26 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2022-08-12 11:34 pm (UTC)[ There's a smudge, a scribble. A starting letter scrubbed out. Then: ]
So, what do you want to do?
(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From: