i did a lot of things before and after. a lot of people got hurt or died because of me. i can't accept that it's the incense's fault, that never sat right with me any other time but now
[ She lets that sit for a minute or two. Because...well, what do you say to that? It's hard to argue that logic, that point of view. Even when you know in your heart that it's not right at all. She bites her lip, thinking, before her graphite stick starts writing again. ]
I
I know how that feels. And I know..that's not who you really are. That's why it hurts you so much.
But the incense changes everything. It warps our vision, our minds. Can you really say you had a choice in your actions, when everything around you was made into a lie? I know I can't say that.
but what if it is? rinwell why do i always go back to cysloden when this happens? why is it always the snake eyes? why am i always one of them? why do i look like that when i turn into a monster? maybe i'm just not actually any better than that. deep down.
you know what they're like more than any of the others. they lie and backstab so much they even start to believe it all themselves. if i could turn on you and the others like that again and again then maybe i've just been lying to myself. maybe when i lash out, that's the real truth. i can't stand it, i can't put anyone else through that
The Snake Eyes were created by the Renans. By Ganabelt! To manipulate and lie and make people suffer.
And maybe not all Renans were like Ganabelt, we know that because of Shionne and Dohalim. But enough were like that, like the soldiers that enslaved Calaglians. That made Cyslodians work the lights. That made Menancians toil endlessly in their mines, before their Lord changed. And you weren't given a choice to join, not really.
You did what you had to to survive in the Snake Eyes, Law. And you've worked so hard to stand up for the right thing since you cast that off.
Do you think I'm a monster because I had have magic?
you never used your magic to hurt anyone who didn't deserve it. you never used it to scare people, or to force them to do things they didn't want to do. it's different.
No, it's not! If you really were a monster, then none of what happened would bother you. You wouldn't feel regret or hurt, or mourn. I know you. You would NEVER do any of those things without any other choice available to you.
The incense gave you no choice. It's never given anyone any choices before, and it didn't in Tikal once the earthquakes started and that awful laughter began.
oh, that one. i think i heard about it. someone said i should be able to catch it, but it's probably better if no one does. it's not just some animal. it sounds smart
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2022-08-09 05:27 pm (UTC)but now
i don't know.
no subject
Date: 2022-08-09 05:44 pm (UTC)I
I know how that feels. And I know..that's not who you really are. That's why it hurts you so much.
But the incense changes everything. It warps our vision, our minds. Can you really say you had a choice in your actions, when everything around you was made into a lie? I know I can't say that.
no subject
Date: 2022-08-09 05:56 pm (UTC)rinwell why do i always go back to cysloden when this happens? why is it always the snake eyes? why am i always one of them? why do i look like that when i turn into a monster?
maybe i'm just not actually any better than that. deep down.
you know what they're like more than any of the others. they lie and backstab so much they even start to believe it all themselves.
if i could turn on you and the others like that again and again then maybe i've just been lying to myself. maybe when i lash out, that's the real truth.
i can't stand it, i can't put anyone else through that
no subject
Date: 2022-08-09 06:03 pm (UTC)Don't say that. It's not true at all!
The Snake Eyes were created by the Renans. By Ganabelt! To manipulate and lie and make people suffer.
And maybe not all Renans were like Ganabelt, we know that because of Shionne and Dohalim. But enough were like that, like the soldiers that enslaved Calaglians. That made Cyslodians work the lights. That made Menancians toil endlessly in their mines, before their Lord changed. And you weren't given a choice to join, not really.
You did what you had to to survive in the Snake Eyes, Law. And you've worked so hard to stand up for the right thing since you cast that off.
Do you think I'm a monster because I
hadhave magic?no subject
Date: 2022-08-09 06:05 pm (UTC)what?? no! why would i?
no subject
Date: 2022-08-09 06:26 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2022-08-10 06:44 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2022-08-10 08:54 pm (UTC)The incense gave you no choice. It's never given anyone any choices before, and it didn't in Tikal once the earthquakes started and that awful laughter began.
no subject
Date: 2022-08-11 11:00 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2022-08-11 11:04 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2022-08-12 04:26 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2022-08-12 11:34 pm (UTC)[ There's a smudge, a scribble. A starting letter scrubbed out. Then: ]
So, what do you want to do?
no subject
Date: 2022-08-13 05:57 pm (UTC)do?
i don't know... what are you doing?
no subject
Date: 2022-08-13 06:05 pm (UTC)I
I'm looking at maps.
no subject
Date: 2022-08-13 06:21 pm (UTC)maps for what?
no subject
Date: 2022-08-13 06:42 pm (UTC)[ Otherwise she'll get on her I-told-you-so horse, and no one wants that. Not even Rinwell.
Not today. ]
Places for
Well. Have you heard? About that unicorn?
no subject
Date: 2022-08-15 02:55 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2022-08-15 07:26 pm (UTC)No, this one's never been tamed or caught before. It's called an 'opaline unicorn', and its meant to be very special.
no subject
Date: 2022-08-16 08:52 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2022-08-16 08:58 pm (UTC)And if it can do what they say it can
[ The text stops abruptly. ]