A LAWFUL WASTELAND

[counterattack]

[ it's December 8. Law turns 18 today. at this point, he's been living in Copalli for over a year. during the final relic fiasco, he achieved trance within about five seconds (because it's basically overlimit) and faced Tiamat in her castle because he had a score to settle with dragons (dragons, wyverns, same shit) and had enough taking shit from these mother fucking guardians in this mother fucking jungle. it was epic.

anyway, it's a few months later and Law lives in Tikal again, down at the bottom of the crater. they've built bridges and pulleys aboveground, as well as created a system to keep the crater from filling with water when it rains. although most of his farm was lost during Tikal's fall, he's rebuilt it bigger and better than ever and repopulated it with even more chickens, hogs, cows and even a few semi-domesticated mist monsters. there's also proper crops, probably due in part to at least one friend or another planting on the huge expanse of land he's set up there. he also rebuilt the inn that collapsed on top of him back then, and this time it's actually finished. he got a local business manager to help run the place and they export animal products and crops all over Copalli. the inn is booming. it's great.

all is well.

except now it's his birthday and Law is just trying to go about his business like he doesn't know that, strapping on his fancy wolf gauntlets and shouldering a big pack of supplies to go make some delivery trips to the other cities. nothin' to see here, not ya lil dude all growed up, a solid 5'9" (and a half) with some cool tribal tats done over his wyvern scars and something of a more mature countenance, buuuuuttt still the dweebo dorkus doofus meathead he's always been.

ANYWAY, THIS IS #LATERGRAM INCENSEDVERSE. medallion him, meet him at any of the cities, fight monsters together on the road, pretend there was a party planned that he's trying to sneak out of showing up to, WHATEVER WORKS. ]

Comments

[indeferent]

<sub>[ four words. they aren't the four words Gladio ever expected to get him feeling a little choked up but there they are. they come out of Law's mouth and wind up wedged somewhere deep in Gladio's heart, twisting and stabbing almost painfully right in the center of it. Cor had once told him that he'd done Clarus proud once in the trials, but... in this moment Gladio can't think of anything else. his mother would always say how proud she was but for the first time in a long time he wishes he could hear it again.

his next words form into a lump that lodges itself in his throat leaving him unable to speak for a few moments so instead of embarrassing himself, he hits himself up with another shot and then another almost immediately after. if he focuses on the sharp burn of it he won't have to think about the sting in his eyes — ]</sub>

Yeah.

_{[ it's a little rougher than it should've been but that's something he can very, very easily pin on the booze. so, he does. he blames it on the alcohol, takes a breath, and leans forward with his ears up as if he expects Law to whisper it amidst the noise of the tavern. ]}

Go on. M'listening.

[counterattack]

[ Good thing for those batty ears, because that's exactly what's he's gonna do! Sort of. Law doesn't whisper so much as murmur, leaning his elbow on the table again as he sits forward as well. In the time it takes him to get closer, he's gone through an entire circle of nervousness, acceptance, and ultimately reckless disregard for the consequences of his actions, so that once he starts speaking, he doesn't have any inhibitions left to fall back on. Thanks for that, six shots of alcohol cushioned only by a little bit of junk food! ]

My secret is: I've been into you since we met. That's how long I've been carrying it around. Way too long.

[ in his head, he sounds super cool and confident. In reality, he... well, he sounds like he's been totally emboldened by the liquor, and whether that's "cool" or "confident" is up to personal interpretation. He sure isn't falling all over his words, and he isn't slurring them yet, either. It's just blurted out in a low timbre, completely regardless, right this second, of just how many people he could be saying this same thing to and hasn't in their case, either. Maybe this'll be his year? Who knows.

Either way, Six Shots Law is feeling himself, tilting his head just a little closer and dropping his voice just that much quieter. ]

I admire you for the sort of person you are—a good, honest one. And you've got a great body for someone who can't even manage a downward dog, so there's that, too. ...And I'm gonna kiss you now, so don't move your head and put my eye out with those horns.

[ An eyepatch would look super cool, though. Food for thought.

Also, announcing what he's about to do ahead of time probably loses him some cool points. Dammit! Why can't he just be effortless and suave!

Oh well. He reaches out, lays his hand on one side of Gladio's face to turn his head for him, and when he stretches forward to kiss him, at least he doesn't miss his mouth. Damn near falls out of his chair again trying to reach him, but in a totally unplanned and not at all eligible for regained cool points move, he manages to catch his knees against the side of Gladio's thigh so that he doesn't go anywhere but closer. ]

[indeferent]

<sub>[ The upside here is Law's in a better position than Gladio who probably should've grabbed lunch before heading to the dragon. The downside? Gladio's well on his way after... frankly he stopped counting after he started thinking about his family like he did. Whatever, it's fine. He's not throwing in the towel juuuuuust yet, not while Law has his complete, undivided attention. All those times people would joke about him looking like an obedient, loyal dog? They were right. He doesn't even have it in him to make some silly little quip when Law fesses up about how long. That's... Six, it's almost been a whole year, hasn't it?

He can't tease him about pining for that long. Not when Gladio's intimately familiar with such a thing.

All thought about any sort of teasing leaves his head the instant Law announces his intent. It leaves the second he feels warm, slim fingers on his cheek and he doesn't have it in him to stop himself from leaning into it like a touch-starved animal. Everything leaves him, except for one thing: ]</sub>

Wouldn't take your eye out. Might bust your nose if I bump you wrong, but...

<sub>[ The curve thankfully prevents any accidental eye-jabbings. He doesn't have a chance to specify that however because suddenly Law's there and Gladio surges forward to meet him the rest of the way, bumping the table with his knee and making a grab for an arm to keep him steady. It's not the same sort of devouring kiss he'd slapped Noct with - there's no way he's laying that sort of thing on Law, not for the first time - but it's purposeful. Confident, albeit a little clumsy.

Gladio... he loves this kid. Out of everyone in Copalli who could've come to the rescue of a couple stranded rich city-slickers, he's incredibly glad that it was Law. ]</sub>

[counterattack]

[ Tempting as it is, the last thing Law wants to do here is throw himself at Gladio like the pathetic, desperate teenager he is. It's really lucky this isn't his first kiss ever, or man, he'd really have no hope here. Prompto had been so gracious about his lack of experience, but the mood had been a lot different then, too. Notably, neither of them had been drinking, and there was a sort of mutual shyness that made the whole thing feel sort of like they were on even playing fields. He had worried himself half to death about being bad at kissing, but as he'd come to find, it's... not that hard. Maybe a little trickier when you're trying not to, like, spit in the other person's mouth as soon as you open yours, but somehow, mother Dahna had saw fit to bless him with not being a disgusting, mortifying mess.

Now? Eh, well. It's different. There's a pretty good buzz starting to hit him now, and that collides head-on with the hot surge of blood that rushes to his head as their mouths meet, so he's a little messier than he probably could be, too. Messy works here, though. Hot, impulsive, semi-drunken, just a bit impassioned... yeah, you can't really expect too much else. Law shudders when he's touched, lashes fluttering, head spinning. It's such a relief, such a release, that he almost can't stand the thought of it ending.

His lungs can, though. Eventually, they give, and that's when he draws back, breathless, and ends it right there. Not too far, too fast. He's still got enough sense left in his head for that, at least. Later? After a few more drinks? That could be trouble. But at least for right now he's not going to give Isabela something to yell take it outside, boys, about. Shaky, wobbly where his balance has come to rely almost entirely on Gladio's support, Law eases himself back into his own seat and tries to figure out what "act natural" is supposed to look like. ]

O-Okay. Now we're square. H...Hey, uh, what're these?

[ cool. casual. collected. losing his mind. It isn't just his heart that's pounding, it's his whole body. He grabs something at random from the table and waves it around, running his tongue again and again over the seam of his pursed lips, determined to savor the taste before it's washed away with that shot that's still waiting for him on the table. ]

[indeferent]

<sub>[ An Amicitia never whines which is precisely what Gladio wants to do when he feels Law pull away. Instead, he makes a low noise in his throat that intermingles with his more bestial changes and comes out as a low half-grumble, half-purr, half-something-else-he-hasn't-quite-figured-out-yet. He's so, so incredibly loathe to let him leave his personal space and that at least he isn't afraid to show, his hand tightening on a bicep before reluctantly loosening and sliding down the length of an arm. It keeps going and going until Gladio's fingers touch the inside of his wrist and finally, out of his hold entirely. Touchy, he'd said. He gets touchy when he's had too much and as Gladio begins to feel his mood dampen, he knows he's started to hit that point.

Better take another shot to soothe the disgruntled beast. ]</sub>

Uh...

_{[ No. Wait. Focus. His ear flicks and Gladio blinks once, twice, then looks at the package in Law's hand mid-pour. ]}

The fruit snacks? Or the bugels?

_{[ Down goes the shot. Down goes the glass, and Gladio reaches for the bag with the barest hints of his tongue peeking out. He can't help but want to do something incredibly stupid, lame and corny but for now he quashes the urge down. He'll behave, both for Law and Isabela. ]}

Here, lemme do it.

[counterattack]

[ God. It feels like his goosebumps have goosebumps. Law tries to find anywhere for his eyes to be but on Gladio, just for however long it's gonna take him to come down off that high, but as the seconds tick by, it just doesn't feel like it's happening, and he's forced to look him in the eye again. Big mistake. How is it that an attractive person can only look even more attractive after you've kissed them? Because he does. He really does. At least, he does to Law, even dorkily poking his tongue out and halfway to sloshed.

Clearing his throat tightly, Law offers the package out (it's the bugels, he's lost track of the fruit stuff), and if he maybe isn't so careful about whether his fingers brush against the palm of Gladio's hand when he hands it over? That's just an itsy bitsy oopsie-doopsie and not on purpose, nope, totally not on purpose. ]

These. They, uh... they look...

[ ...he literally hadn't looked at them. Not even so much as a glance, and now he's just realizing that whatever they are, they barely look like food. ]

...Edible.

[ Nice. Get it together, Law!!! Yeah, you know what, time for shot seven. It's been waiting faithfully for its time to shine, and that time is now. He knocks it back so hard he almost sloshes it onto his face, and you better believe he swishes that one around a second before he swallows it. Amazing how they think drinking more is gonna sober them up. They're so screwed. ]

Okay, yeah, I can't just sit here after that. Let's play a game or something. Or we keep sharing weird, personal stuff about our lives, doesn't matter. I'm gonna go crazy.

[ he's already gone crazy. ]

[indeferent]

<sub>[ Six, if he could grab his hand the way he wants to without making it weird he'd do it in a heartbeat. As it is, the little touch is fleeting and man if it isn't funny how something so small sends a pleasant warmth down his arm, he doesn't know what is. Fumbling the bag open takes a little more effort - not because he's losing coordination, rather the bag is just that difficult, but after a few seconds he rips it open and spills a few of the cone-looking chips onto the table.

Whoops. ]</sub>

They're good if you dip 'em in chocolate. S'a good contrast... <sub>Six, I'm sounding like Iggy.

[ But if it wasn't true then they wouldn't have made a chocolate variety, stupid. A small snort slips out when he catches Law's near self-bean-to-the-face, but he thankfully doesn't comment on it. He's somewhat occupied with sticking one of those "cones" on his pinky. Look, ma! Claws! ]</sub>

What about a two-for-one? Truth or dare. Mostly 'cause the other drinking games I can think of don't really work when, uh... Y'know, no TVs or real electricity.

[counterattack]

[ Law's nose wrinkles somewhere between a "gross" and a suppressed laugh; ultimately, the laugh wins out. He's, thankfully, too far gone to overthink stupid stuff the way he often does in the presence of people he li-iiikes like whether his laugh sounds dumb or whatever, so it comes pretty freely this time. He'd lean over and chomp that thing right off Gladio's finger, but he's afraid he'd take a chunk of actual finger along with it, and heavens know he's got a hell of a bite. Just ask, uh... most of his friends. He's bitten basically every single one of them by now. As a monster, sure, but you'd think it would've strengthened his jaw a bit by now.

He'll just settle for grabbing some of the ones that fell on the table and giving them a taste test. Salty and garbage-y, just the way he likes 'em. Yep, these'll do nicely. ]

Ah, man. That one I actually know. In Cyslodia, we played it to the death. Or to the almost-death, depending on who you were playing with, 'cause you, uh... couldn't kill... yeah. Anyway, I know how that one works. Yeah.

[ Yep, there it is. This liquor, whatever it is, sneaks up on you, man! He's still good, holding his own, not slurring, but it's got his mouth running in earnest now. For better or worse.

Also, he makes a grab for the bottle to refill his glass and almost misses it, so maybe the hand-eye coordination is starting to go a little bit, too. ]

Your idea, you first. Truth or dare? ...This is the not life or death version, just FYI.

[indeferent]

<sub>[ Law makes a grab and Gladio lightly bats at his hand. He doesn't move to stop him from refilling but once that bottle touches the table again he grabs it and takes a short pull from it... pauses... and promptly grimaces as he returns it to its place. Even goes as far as to nudge it away. Is he tapping out? Yeah, yeah he's tapping out. It's all yours, runt. Any more and Gladio knows he'll be at risk of spilling his guts in more ways than just one with the wrong move. On the plus side that means he's free to pick at the cones that fell on his side of the table without juggling two things at once.

And it's a chance to try and regain his everything. At some point or another they're gonna have to leave and he'd rather not leave Law trying to support all two-hundred plus pounds of him through the streets on top of his own balance. ]</sub>

S'treason if I die anyway, remember? And gimme truth. Only idiots jump into dare right out the gates.

_{[ Something nice and easy to start with. What could go wrong? It's f i n e. ]}

Make it a good one, too.

[counterattack]

[ He'd like to say he's not afraid of Noctis or his wrath, like what is he gonna do? Actually put that fat keister of his into gear and chase him? That's if he can rouse himself out of unconsciousness long enough to even notice he's short one friend he doesn't deserve to have in the first place. But alright, fine, even on the far side of plastered, he knows better than to go trash-talking Noctis. Gladio likes him, for whatever ungodly reason, and he wants to look good in Gladio's eyes, so he tolerates his existence.

And won't kill his Shield. Wait—what?

God. Stop thinking, start drinking. He gives Gladio a look as if to say wuss when the bottle goes down, then cuts that shot back and sets the glass down a little too hard on the table. Whoops. ]

Awright, you asked for it!

[ You really did. If anyone knows how to cut to the core with their truth questions— ]

What's your biggest fear?

[indeferent]

_{[ Oh boy he sure asked for it. They both did, didn't they? For a time Gladio stares at him as if he's trying to process it, mouth half open and a look of bewilderment etched on his face. He really came out swinging with that one and holy shit after he regains his composure his answer is immediate because— ]}

Failure.

_{[ He's felt it too many times already. Insomnia, Ravus, Jared... he felt pangs of it during the Trials, Altissia and Zegnautus... All of it. Whether he's aware of it or no, Gladio touches the scar cutting across his torso and frowns to himself. He should, uh. Probably elaborate on that, huh? "Failure" can mean a lot of different things after all. ]}

Failure as a Shield. 'Cause... Shields're supposed to protect their Kings. Outside of old age or sickness, I don't think we get to "retire".

_{[ Any Shield that outlasts their King had to have done something wrong beyond those circumstances. His frown deepens and he reaches in to steal a proper handful, brows knit together in thought. Was that too much? Probably, but it's Truth or Dare not Half-Truth or Dare. ]}

Outside of that? Uh... Being eaten by a Malboro. Alive.

[counterattack]

[ Yeah, he probably could've picked something a little less heavy to throw at him. There's "lowering the temperature when they're both way too keyed up" and then there's "bringing the mood back to a zero", but you know what, that's the game as he knows it and so that's how he played it. He's sure he'll be paying for it big-time when it's his turn. ]

I mean... it makes sense, though. That's a pretty rational fear. That's a lot of expectation on your shoulders, a'course you'd be worried about it.

[ This is him trying to save face, but also it's just the truth. He can't say he doesn't relate, albeit not to that particular specificity. Failure, making a mistake, letting people down, especially the ones who're counting on you... yeah. If it's not rational, like he said, then it's sure as hell relatable, at least. ]

Malboro, though... why does that sound familiar? Do we have those here? It sounds like some kinda zeugle.

[ he's fought so many of them at this point he can't even keep track. ]

[indeferent]

It's more than expectation, but uh... I'll get into it another time. Someplace where it's just us or something.

<sub>[ Because if he gets fired up about it he'd rather not have a building full of strangers gawking at him or Law. They're both hot-headed idiots at the end of the day and... it works? But he'd still rather spare the rest of the population any potential bickering over a difference in lifestyles and/or expectations of their own lives.

A year past or no, the train still sits pretty heavily on his mind and he still kicks himself over it. ]</sub>

But, uh. Yeah. We do. There was a big one hanging around here awhile back, actually. I think someone dealt with it 'cause I haven't smelled it since? They're not fun. Actually, this thing-

_{[ He grabs the crumpled bag with Li'l Malbuddy's face on it, smoothing it out— ]}

This is from a kids show on my world. Real popular in Galahd and Insomnia, but I think Kenny Crow beats 'em both in the rest of Lucis 'cause I never saw any merch for either of them when we were on our trip. He's probably the only Malboro I'd trust 'cause the real ones? They're nowhere near this cute.

[counterattack]

[ Law studies the bag, brow furrowed. That's one particular monster he hasn't faced, and if someone told him it was around during March, that'd explain why it's not familiar to him. Around the end of March, when someone would've been taking care of that thing, Law was busy getting half eaten by a wyvern. But hey, he got some super sick tats out of it, so who's laughing now? ]

They... put monsters in things for kids where you come from? You'd think that would just make them not afraid of 'em.

[ Then again, they don't have to be cute and all that to teach certain kinds of kids not to be afraid of them. Law saw the easy work his parents and the other fighters in Ulzebek made of the zeugles around the village and he learned not to waste his fears on something that simple, either.

Law pours himself yet another shot and retrieves a few more bugels to help keep it all down with. The likelihood that he'll get sick from drinking is pretty low, but the more he can do to mitigate those potential damages, the better. ]

Getting eaten does kinda suck, though, yeah. And this one's got all those... uh, tentacles. Yeah, nope, don't like that. —I'll take a truth question too, by the way. Don't trust myself on a dare right now. Actually, I dunno if I trust you with the dares, that's the real thing.

[indeferent]

_{[ Now he laughs, shrugging his shoulders and so very much wishing he had his phone in working order so he could actually show him the series. No matter how old someone gets, Li'l Malbuddy is there for everyone. He's a friend no matter what, unlike every other Malboro that exists in the world out there. Especially the babies, eugh. Those were the worst. ]}

Dude, I had a stuffed behemoth as a kid that I carried with me so much that one of the horns and an eye fell off. Iris found him buried in a box of my old stuff and fixed him, and you've seen one yourself. Maybe not the real, full-size deal but I come pretty damn close to what ours look like. Thing is, you can still respect something while introducing 'em to kids so they learn to respect 'em.

_{[ ...Man, he kind of misses that stuffed animal now that he's thinking about it. He was a real good cuddle buddy on the rare occasion he'd wind up having nightmares, and more often than not he'd wind up bitching and ranting to it about the real world. Who would've guessed that having an inanimate object to complain to would be so good? ]}

I'll keep that in mind when you wind up daring me, but alright lemme think... What's the most embarrassing thing you've ever done?

[counterattack]

A stuffed behemoth? Seriously? I guess it really made an impression.

[ Haha, get it, cause the horns... yeah. If only that were the deciding factor in what kind of a monster you turn into in this place, then he'd... well, still be at a loss, because he certainly never had any stuffed animals or real toys or anything as a kid. Maybe a pet rock? But like, you were basically ingrained with the notion of being completely over rocks from the time you were born in Calaglia, so not that, either.

Anyway, all things considered, this question could be worse. Law still hides his grimace behind his shot glass before he drinks it, though. What is this? Eight? It doesn't matter that he's going on four inches taller and a fair bit broader, there is nowhere in that lithe body of his for all of that alcohol to go. This should be impossible. ]

Uh—most embarrassing? Dude, everything I do is embarrassing, how am I supposed to pick just one?

[ Well, okay, maybe not everything. He'll probably not think so later, but right now he's feeling pretty good about that kiss execution a minute ago. It was pretty alright. In fact, he's feeling pretty good about a lot of things right this second, but we'll see what happens when the liquor wears off. ]

It... was probably that time I tried to pick up a chick and she looked right past me at my buddy Alphen and started flirting with him instead. I dunno why I didn't just give up. I just kept trying to chime in like, "hey, I'm still here!" But she was fixated on him. Can't blame her, most people are, but... yeah, that was pathetic.

[ Epic swerve away from "can't blame her, I would be, too" into "most people are," which completely absolves him of any guilt. No sir, we are not confessing to anything else weird tonight. In fact, he should probably just avoid talking about all of his friends if he wants to play it safe. They're all extremely dangerous topics. ]

Or, uh, I guess this one time I was showing off in front of some of the other kids in my hometown, then I slipped off a ledge and landed ass-first on a cactus. Not sure what was worse, them laughing at me or having to run home crying to my mom so she could pull the needles out of my butt.

[ wait, why did he just give him two— ]

Ugh. Nope, yeah, that's it. Done talking.

[indeferent]

<sub>[ Two of them. After the first one Gladio is just about ready to reach across the table to pat Law's arm and say something along the lines of "That's rough" or "Been there", but he keeps going after the fact. The first one was a little heartbreaking, but the second one? Oh, Six. There's no way he can keep a straight face for more than five seconds especially once, unbidden, an old movie comes to mind. He's been there too of course courtesy of an angry Cactuar, but that's not what gets him.

What gets him is the thought of a trio of Sabertusks chasing after a lone Behemoth pup— ]</sub>

—Cactus butt.

_{[ Is that going to be A Thing now between the two of them? Absolutely. But just for them. No one else. Gladio snorts again and thumps Law's foot with his own below the table, and above he moves to rest his chin in his own palm with a crooked grin. Now the shots are finally starting to catch up to him if the faint color to his cheeks means anything, and... yeah, it's probably a good thing he tapped out when he did. ]}

I think I can safely say I never had that happen when I was a kid. I dunno if regular cacti could've survived in the city without someone taking care of 'em every day.

_{[ In the Citadel gardens? Sure. And maybe in the manor's garden too, but that also may have been because his mother had one hell of a green thumb. Gladio? Not so much. Not to say he was entirely hopeless with flowers and whatnot, but he wasn't anywhere near her level. ]}

How many'd you end up with in your ass?

[counterattack]

Shut up, man!!

[ Law makes a face, but eventually he can't help but grin about it, too. The memory is hell and admitting to it is almost as embarrassing as when it happened, but how is he supposed to not think "cactus butt" is funny? He gives Gladio a slug in the arm, playful, but thankfully there's no real force to it. If Gladio's touchy when he drinks, then Law is punchy. Nothing he seems to enjoy more while he's drunk than companionable violence. ...Even more than when he's sober, that is. ]

Twelve. It was a really spiny cactus. I couldn't sit right for days. Y'know, the worst part was that my parents thought it was kinda funny, too. They didn't tease me and just kept telling me to be more careful, but looking back, they were totally holding in some laughter.

[ things zephyr is gonna get laid into about later if he can manage to remember this when he sees him... ]

Your turn. You feelin' a dare yet?

[indeferent]

Ten gil says they probably did the same thing. Or, well... Maybe not the exact same but still wound up with an ass full of cactus. A Cactass.

_{[ Huehuehue he's so bad he's good. At the punch he makes a half-hearted "swipe" to catch Law's hand and misses, but he lets it drop down onto the table with his fingers splayed out and slightly reaching in a silent invitation. If he wants it? He's there. Or he'll just wait until Law's in range again. He's a patient man. ]}

Gimme another truth. I dunno how much I trust you with a dare right now.

_{[ He's always teasing. Always. Just to make a point Gladio even goes as far as to hook their ankles together again. ]}

[counterattack]

[ Good thing he finishes that shot before "cactass," otherwise he'd have snorted it out his nose. That joke is certified garbage, but when you've had this much to drink, even garbage starts to look like top-shelf shit. Besides, he's never had a refined sense of humor in the first place. (Obviously, because every time Dohalim makes a joke he usually just thinks it's another weird poem or something.) ]

Probably wise. My dares are as dangerous as my truths.

[ Even in non-to the death truth-or-dare, yeah. Law's eye falls to Gladio's hand, splayed on the table, while he's thinking of the next deep cut of a question to ask him and finds himself a little distracted. After a moment, he places the tops of his pinched-together fingers in the center of Gladio's palm and lets them spread out from there until their hands are resting flat on top of each other, something he's always thought felt really, really ticklish, but also kind of good in a tingly way. After he left home, one of the friends he'd had before the Renans got them used to do that to him. They only had one pair of gloves between them, so they'd each wear one on opposite hands and try to keep the other person's sole bare hand warm some way or another.

It was just innocent kid stuff back then, but it hits a little bit different this time. ]

What's... the one thing you—no, wait. Never mind. Not that.

[ The one thing you regret the most. Nope, nope, can't go there. That's too deep even for ruthlessly brutal games of truth-or-dare. The second those words start to form on his tongue, all he hears in his head is Not telling others how much they meant to me before it was too late... that's the greatest mistake of my life.

Nope. ]

Uhhhh, haha... no, okay, here's a better one: what was your first date like? There's no way you were always this cool and confident. Everybody's awkward the first time, right? Don't spare any details.

[indeferent]

<sub>[ The response is automatic — his hand flattens against Gladio's, and his fingers entwine themselves with Law's. There's nothing weird about a couple people holding hands in public, right? No one else seems to give a damn or even notice, nor would they. His ears perk up for a moment in interest, then they settle back into a more relaxed position all while he stares down at their hands for a long minute or two. This is nice.

Really, really nice.

It's nice enough that he doesn't question the first thing Law says. It makes him tilt his head for a second, sure, but he doesn't press it. Gladio turns their hands a bit so he can get a better hold, but that's about all he does until he says first date. ]</sub>

It, uh...

_{[ Boy he hasn't thought about that one in a long, long time. ]}

It was pretty bad. Not the worst date I've ever been on, but it was up there. I was... fourteen? Fourteen-ish? Somewhere around there, but there was this girl in school that I liked. She was a couple years older than me, bit of a nerd, real cute, freckles 'n everything. It took me half a year to work up the nerve to ask her out 'n looking back on it I don't know why she said yes 'cept for maybe my name — I dunno — anyway, she made a comment about how she'd never seen chocobos, so I thought to myself "hey, my dad knows a guy who has a couple on a little ranch out in Northern Insom," got my dad to talk to the guy, and I was gonna surprise her with it, you know? I, er...

_{[ His ears droop down a little and his face twists into a half-smile, half-grimace. What was he thinking back then? He's not entirely sure looking back on it, but Law asked and it's the rules of the game so after a breath he keeps going. Even if he finds himself squeezing his hand once before he does. ]}

Think my first screw-up was I took her to the Crow's Nest for lunch instead of some ritzy place 'n she spent more time on her phone than anything. Then I wound up dragging her across the city for a good hour 'til we got to the farm and... she tells me she's allergic to the birds. Big time allergic. And scared shitless of them. I had zero idea 'cause she never said anything, you know? Even told her where we were goin' and everything, so, uh...

_{[ Bad with a capital B-A-D. Thank the six it had almost been time for her class to graduate so he never really saw her again outside of the hallway at school, but man it was pretty awkward for those last two months. ]}

I felt like shit for ages 'cause I didn't know. Fourteen-year old me thought it was somethin' fun and interesting to do versus the cliché dinner-and-a-movie everyone else always did, you know? Somethin' for her to remember and... I mean, I suppose it was something for her to remember, just not in a... good way.

[counterattack]

[ When their fingers twine together, Law can't help the pleasant little shiver that runs through him. It does feel nice. God, he just... has missed touch so much. He'd already been absolutely starved for it most of his life, but after the incident in Tikal, he'd pulled away from others in a big way. His father, his friends, everyone. It's... gotten better since then, since the relics were all finally sealed and he felt some of that sour, rotten energy inside of him find a place for itself when he'd gone through Trance, but nothing's ever really been the same. It toughened him up, and not entirely in a good way. He's more stronger, more serious, more independent, and even though he's popular in Copalli and gets on with pretty much everyone with that easygoing way about him, he's just kind of forgotten what it feels like to really make meaningful contact with somebody. Hugs and clasped hands are few and far between anymore, and he's just now realizing how much he's really needed it.

It's so distracting he almost forgets to listen at first.

But then he snaps out of it, his fingers curled loosely in Gladio's, and uses his free hands to popcorn.gif with the bugels as he tells his story. Big time allergic makes him snort loudly, and even if he can't help but laugh, it also makes him think how lucky he is that the same thing hasn't happened to him yet, what with his affinity for animals and all. ]

How the heck were you supposed to know, though?! She didn't say she never saw 'em because she was allergic! I can totally see you trying to go above and beyond, though, yeah. Next time, try a spiracorn. Bet you could pull that off.

[ DO NOT DO THAT!! But whatever, it worked out for Prince Charming riding in on his noble demonic steed. ]

I guess, like... you had to have those lame experiences to learn how to be such a smooth-talker later, huh?

[indeferent]

<sub>[ Another laugh from Gladio and he shakes his head, the corners of his mouth quirking up into a smile. Again with the spiracorns? He'll never understand how he can be so calm around them, but then again Gladio had been on one too many hunts involving the animals. Too many stories about how a hunter got careless and wound up with a pair of hooves to the head and even taking one point-blank to his shield (which probably would've required a phoenix down if he didn't have it up in time). Nah, he'd rather appreciate the wildlife rather than mess with it unless it was actually, y'know, required. He wouldn't leave an injured Coeurl on its own if there was a chance to get it help, and the same would go for the murder-horses.

No matter how much they'd want to eat his face. ]</sub>

Maybe I should've asked for a stuffed one just for you. I still can't believe you ride 'em like it's nothing.

_{[ But now he knows what to get next time! So that's something! ]}

I'd say confidence plays a part in it too, not just shitty experiences. Eventually you'll figure out what works and what doesn't, and then you just go from there. Hell, it took me awhile to figure out most of the girls I'd wind up going out with were only in it 'cause of my name and my looks. The ones that weren't only after that... They never liked knowing that they'd always be second in my life, so it was usually broken off. Or they wanted to try and get close to Noct which, uh. Wasn't happening on my watch.

_{[ It's one thing to try and flirt with someone on their own but using him to do it? Fuck that noise. It's tacky, cheap, and downright rude. ]}

Can't say it's all that bad though at the end of the day. Sometimes I met a couple people who were more than happy to be friends with or without benefits. People who didn't give a damn 'bout any of it. Those were the good ones.

[counterattack]

[ Shrug. Demon unicorn monster pony horses love him, yolo69swag420blazeit. ]

...Wait, people would use you? To get to him? How?? Why?!

[ yeah yeah because he's royalty and whatever but still, what the actual fuck. He's not supposed to smack talk Noctis, but first of all, he's drunk and second of all, the very idea of thinking that Noctis is a trade up from Gladio is unfathomable. Law's incredulity is really over-animated, eyes wide and mouth open, positively hornswoggled. That's like... that's like... he can't even think of an example. Using Alphen to get to him is the closest he can think of, and even that seems to miss the sheer gravity of the "that is not a step up, dude" scale at play here. ]

No friggin' way. What's wrong with people where you come from?! I get he's important and all that, but you're... and he's so... blegh. I can't get my head around that, sorry. You deserve better than that! Ignis and Prompto, too. I always thought you were criminally underappreciated, and this just proves it.

[ Law stop talking. Law start drinking. Screw it, he's swigging straight from the bottle now. ]

[indeferent]

Power, status... All that typical boring political shit that comes with the territory.

_{[ Frankly it's disgusting and Gladio can't keep the scowl off his face. If there was one thing he could nix out of the whole nobility thing, it'd be that. Things can be hard enough with the weight of the crown and everything else going on in the world, so why add more stress onto it like that? He never, ever understood it. ]}

Thing is, they never stood a chance with him. He's an even bigger nerd than I am, 'specially if you get him somewhere he can start fishi...

_{[ Wait. Wait. Hang on. Pump the brakes, there. Gladio trails off and stares at Law for a good, long while, doing his best impression of a Confused Dog. Did he just-? He just heard him right, right? That's??? å ]}

Huh? Whaddya mean? Criminally underappreciated?

_{[ Gladio. Gladio, open your ears, you're drunk. Listen to him. ]}